SD Dojavi Slobodna Dalmacija
stdClass Object ( [id] => 1225071 [title] => Kako ga je to lignja popjuvala, zar samo sipe nimadu crnilo? Svašta jema u naše malo misto samo uvik triba stat atento i u fermu [alias] => kako-ga-je-to-lignja-popjuvala-zar-samo-sipe-nimadu-crnilo [catid] => 420 [published] => 1 [introtext] => [fulltext] =>

Ka i svako jutro oko 5 uri san sa terace bacija pogled na more, za vidit more li se odit na ribe joli ne. Puvalo je i ni bilo vrime za na ribe. Vrati san se u posteju, ma ni za dugo i oko 7 san jopet iša vižitat stanje na moru.

S terace san međutin vidija moga prijateja Franu kako sa svojon crnon gajeton na jarbol bordiža iz Brista i uplovljava u naš porat za popit kafu. Kako je u portu lipo žalo, svaki put se Frane sa svojon gajeton mora nasukat, jerbo nima nigdi blizu njega kolone za vezat brod.

Ja san seja u auto i otiša sa društvon u kojemu su: dotur Olivari, Frane, Vedran Stipić, Velo od pokojnega Mačka, zet i ja popit kafu.

Naravno, uz normalne zajebancije i tirade razni zajebancij. Sidimo mi i Vedran kazije kako je bi sinoć na lignje i kako ga je lignja popjuvala crnilon po biloj maji. I sa ton je majon iša do Frane, koji ga je pita ča mu je to na maji po prsiman.

Zaletija se do žala

Kad je čuja o čemu se radi, osta je ka inkantan i komentira da kako ga je to lignja popjuvala crnilon, zar samo sipe nimadu crnilo?

Skoro je napa Vedrana da ga zajebaje. Izgleda da Franino neznanje nima granic i da ćemo mi još puno puti čut komentare na koje se moš samo smijat i njega zajebavat. I tako se uz smij i zajebanciju Frane ošerva prema brodu i vidija da se lipo otisnija od žala i nošen vitron polako bordižava u duboko.

Odma je reagira, zaletija se do žala i onako u priši u svoj robi zagazija do vrata da bi uvati brod, jerbo se bi pripa da će mu ga vitar odnit na neki tuđi brod i učinit šćetu. Kad je vrati brod na žalo, kaže mu Vedran: uvik san ti reka, nasukaj se sa većin gason i unda nimaš straja.

Asti Gospu, a di mi je mobitel - izneredi se Frane. Je li se i on namočija?

Pribire Frane žepe, ma je mobitel osta suv na stolu o kafića. A ča se šoldi tiče, oni su se skvasili ma lako ji je osušit pa nima šćete. Poza tin je uša u gajetu i nako mokar partija za Brist doma kontra vitra. Ma isto me malo straj da se ne razboli jerbo ni u cvitu mladosti. Jema u guzici 70 godin, pa ga more i puntura zateć.

Sad valja njušit

Vedran i ja smo se vratili u kafić i unda je iskrsla još jedna batuda na Vedranov konto. Prošlu šetemanu je Vedran odija sa famejon i prijatejima na đitu sa svojin brodon. Kako su planirali bit na more 4-5 dan, tribalo je spremit i provištu za koju je bila zadužena Vedranova žena.

Na kraju je zaudobila stavit kumpire i tek je na Vedranovo ronjanje stavila par kili u brod.

Đita je završila, lipo su se vratili doma i gle vraga kumpiri se nisu izili. Ali, kad su iskrcavali stvari, nigdi ni bilo kumpiri. Vedran se kune da je svaki kantun u brodu vižita i da o kumpiri nima ni traga ni glasa.

Jutros kad smo čuli, lipo smo Vedranu priporučili da kad je sve vižita i ni naša kumpire, neka sada svaki dan dobro njuši kad uliza u brod i kad se kumpiri dobro usmrdu, unda će ji lako po smradu nać. I dok smo o temu raspravjali dojde za naš stol Stipe mesar, vlaj o Drniša jako simpa čovik, ma Gospe mi, na prsiman i drobu jema puste masne mače.

Librić ka poklon

I dok je on odgovara na naše zajebancije, mi smo utvrdili da mu je pečena janjetina draga. Sigurno ju je sika na drobu dok je ija jerbo su mu slabi zubi za drobit košćice...

Prin vengo smo se rastavili, Vedran i ja smo odlučili napravit jedan librić sa skraćenin tekstovima i poklonit ga Frani za učenje onega ča je najvažnije za na more i okolo mora. Eto štioci dragi, svašta jema u naše malo misto samo uvik triba stat atento i u fermu za uvatit prave štorije i barufe.

Živi i veseli bili, pozdravja vas vaš morski čovik Šangarelo.

[video] => [gallery] => [extra_fields] => Array ( [1] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 2 [name] => Superscript Title [value] => priče čitatelja [type] => textarea [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 2 [alias] => SuperscriptTitle ) [3] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 61 [name] => Contains Infographic [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 4 [alias] => contains_infographic ) [4] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 62 [name] => Without ads [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 5 [alias] => Withoutads ) [5] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 63 [name] => Photo gallery [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 6 [alias] => Photo_gallery ) [6] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 64 [name] => Promo [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 7 [alias] => promo ) [8] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 67 [name] => Contains video [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 9 [alias] => contains_video ) [9] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 68 [name] => Premium content [value] => ON [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 10 [alias] => premium_content ) [10] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 69 [name] => Exclude comments [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 11 [alias] => exclude_comments ) [11] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 70 [name] => Open link in new window [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 12 [alias] => open_link_in_new_window ) [12] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 71 [name] => Horizontal crop of the main photo [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 13 [alias] => horizontal_crop_of_the_main_photo ) [13] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 73 [name] => No-index [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 15 [alias] => no_index ) [14] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 74 [name] => No-cache [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 16 [alias] => no_cache ) [15] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 77 [name] => Don't show on the front page [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 17 [alias] => dont_show_on_the_front_page ) [16] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 78 [name] => Related on bottom [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 18 [alias] => related_on_bottom ) [17] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 79 [name] => Live button [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 19 [alias] => live_button ) [26] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 87 [name] => Instant articles [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 28 [alias] => instant_articles ) [27] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 91 [name] => S preporučuje [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 29 [alias] => s_preporucuje ) [28] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 92 [name] => S voli [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 30 [alias] => s_voli ) [29] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 93 [name] => Layout with three photos [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 31 [alias] => layout_with_three_photos ) [30] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 94 [name] => Gallery in the article [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 32 [alias] => gallery_in_the_article ) [31] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 95 [name] => Required views [value] => 0 [type] => textfield [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 33 [alias] => required_views ) [32] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 96 [name] => FullHD image [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 34 [alias] => fullhd_image ) [33] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 98 [name] => Paid Article [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 36 [alias] => paid_article ) ) [extra_fields_search] => priče čitatelja 0 3518 2 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 [created] => 2016-08-19 13:07:14 [created_by] => 3260 [created_by_alias] => Jadran Šangarelo Šantić [checked_out] => 0 [checked_out_time] => 0000-00-00 00:00:00 [modified] => 2022-09-17 06:12:49 [modified_by] => 3260 [publish_up] => 2022-09-17 06:08:00 [publish_down] => 0000-00-00 00:00:00 [trash] => 0 [access] => 1 [ordering] => 0 [featured] => 0 [featured_ordering] => 0 [image_caption] => [image_credits] => [video_caption] => [video_credits] => [hits] => 68 [params] => Joomla\Registry\Registry Object ( [data:protected] => stdClass Object ( [enable_css] => 1 [jQueryHandling] => 1.8remote [backendJQueryHandling] => remote [userName] => 1 [userImage] => 1 [userDescription] => 1 [userURL] => 1 [userEmail] => 0 [userFeedLink] => 1 [userFeedIcon] => 1 [userItemCount] => 30 [userItemTitle] => 1 [userItemTitleLinked] => 1 [userItemDateCreated] => 1 [userItemImage] => 1 [userItemIntroText] => 1 [userItemCategory] => 1 [userItemTags] => 1 [userItemCommentsAnchor] => 1 [userItemReadMore] => 1 [userItemOCMPlugins] => 1 [authorsListLimit] => 61 [tagItemCount] => 61 [tagItemTitle] => 1 [tagItemTitleLinked] => 1 [tagItemDateCreated] => 1 [tagItemImage] => 1 [tagItemIntroText] => 1 [tagItemCategory] => 1 [tagItemReadMore] => 1 [tagItemExtraFields] => 1 [tagOrdering] => [tagFeedLink] => 1 [tagFeedIcon] => 1 [genericItemCount] => 61 [genericItemTitle] => 1 [genericItemTitleLinked] => 1 [genericItemDateCreated] => 1 [genericItemImage] => 1 [genericItemIntroText] => 1 [genericItemCategory] => 1 [genericItemReadMore] => 1 [genericItemExtraFields] => 1 [genericFeedLink] => 1 [genericFeedIcon] => 1 [instantArticlesLimit] => 100 [instantArticlesExtraField] => 87 [instantArticlesExtraFieldON] => 2 [instantArticlesCategoriesChildren] => 0 [instantArticlesTitle] => [instantArticlesDescription] => [mainTagCategories] => Array ( [0] => 119 [1] => 396 [2] => 383 [3] => 424 [4] => 250 [5] => 251 [6] => 452 [7] => 252 [8] => 477 [9] => 253 [10] => 254 [11] => 255 [12] => 483 [13] => 256 [14] => 300 [15] => 257 [16] => 258 [17] => 260 ) [relatedItemsCategoriesChildren] => 1 [mobileJsonCustomHomepage] => 0 [mobileJsonQuoteModule] => 0 [mobileJsonWeatherModule] => 0 [mobileJsonLimit] => [mobileJsonObituary] => 0 [mobileApi2Enabled] => 1 [mobileApi2UserAgent] => OCM Mobile Articles [mobileApi2ImagePrefix] => h [mobileApi2ImageSuffix] => 1280 [mobileApi2DefaultAuthorImage] => /images/jpgs/user_face.jpg [mobileApi2TagLimit] => 50 [mobileApi2TagOrdering] => publishUp [mobileApi2TagCategories] => stdClass Object ( [mobileApi2TagCategories0] => stdClass Object ( [mobileApi2TagCategoriesMenuitem] => 101 [mobileApi2TagExcludeCategories] => Array ( [0] => 318 [1] => 323 [2] => 301 [3] => 406 [4] => 417 ) ) [mobileApi2TagCategories1] => stdClass Object ( [mobileApi2TagCategoriesMenuitem] => 328 ) [mobileApi2TagCategories2] => stdClass Object ( [mobileApi2TagCategoriesMenuitem] => 329 ) [mobileApi2TagCategories3] => stdClass Object ( [mobileApi2TagCategoriesMenuitem] => 327 ) [mobileApi2TagCategories4] => stdClass Object ( [mobileApi2TagCategoriesMenuitem] => 478 ) [mobileApi2TagCategories5] => stdClass Object ( [mobileApi2TagCategoriesMenuitem] => 494 ) ) [mobileApi2TagsSearchLimit] => 200 [mainFeedCategories] => Array ( [0] => 240 ) [feedLimit] => 50 [mostPopularFeedLimit] => 20 [feedItemImage] => 0 [feedImgSize] => S [feedItemIntroText] => 0 [feedTextWordLimit] => [feedItemFullText] => 1 [feedTextCharacterLimit] => 300 [feedItemSubtitle] => 1 [feedItemAuthor] => 0 [feedTtl] => 60 [feedDescription] => RSS feeds for Slobodna Dalmacija [feedItemTags] => 0 [feedItemVideo] => 0 [feedItemGallery] => 0 [feedItemAttachments] => 0 [feedBogusEmail] => [feedTopModules] => Array ( [0] => 105 ) [feedTopFbExcludeCategories] => Array ( [0] => 243 [1] => 353 [2] => 333 ) [introTextCleanup] => 0 [introTextCleanupExcludeTags] => [introTextCleanupTagAttr] => [fullTextCleanup] => 0 [fullTextCleanupExcludeTags] => [fullTextCleanupTagAttr] => [xssFiltering] => 0 [linkPopupWidth] => 900 [linkPopupHeight] => 600 [imagesQuality] => 100 [itemImageXS] => 100 [itemImageS] => 200 [itemImageM] => 400 [itemImageL] => 600 [itemImageXL] => 900 [itemImageGeneric] => 300 [catImageWidth] => 100 [catImageDefault] => 1 [userImageWidth] => 100 [userImageDefault] => 1 [commenterImgWidth] => 48 [onlineImageEditor] => sumopaint [imageTimestamp] => 0 [imageMemoryLimit] => [socialButtonCode] => [twitterUsername] => [facebookMetatags] => 1 [facebookImage] => Medium [comments] => 1 [commentsOrdering] => DESC [commentsLimit] => 10 [commentsFormPosition] => below [commentsPublishing] => 0 [commentsReporting] => 2 [commentsReportRecipient] => [inlineCommentsModeration] => 0 [gravatar] => 1 [antispam] => 0 [recaptchaForRegistered] => 1 [akismetForRegistered] => 1 [commentsFormNotes] => 1 [commentsFormNotesText] => [frontendEditing] => 1 [showImageTab] => 1 [showImageGalleryTab] => 1 [showVideoTab] => 1 [showExtraFieldsTab] => 1 [showAttachmentsTab] => 1 [showOCMPlugins] => 1 [sideBarDisplayFrontend] => 0 [staticURL] => https://static.slobodnadalmacija.hr [siteURL] => https://slobodnadalmacija.hr [sseHost] => sse.slobodnadalmacija.hr [lockingArticlesCategories] => Array ( [0] => 119 [1] => 424 [2] => 250 [3] => 251 [4] => 452 [5] => 252 [6] => 477 [7] => 253 [8] => 254 [9] => 255 [10] => 483 [11] => 256 [12] => 257 [13] => 258 [14] => 260 ) [lockingArticlesUnit] => YEAR [lockingArticlesQuantity] => 1 [photoGalleryExtraField] => 63 [photoGalleryExtraFieldON] => 2 [videoGalleryExtraField] => 67 [videoGalleryExtraFieldON] => 2 [tickerModules] => Array ( [0] => 408 [1] => 409 ) [gaEmail] => [mergeEditors] => 1 [sideBarDisplay] => 1 [attachmentsFolder] => [hideImportButton] => 0 [googleSearch] => 0 [googleSearchContainer] => ocmGoogleSearchContainer [OCMUserProfile] => 1 [OCMUserGroup] => 4 [redirect] => 101 [adminSearch] => simple [cookieDomain] => [gatherStatistics] => 1 [article_preview_ocm_category_id] => [taggingSystem] => 1 [lockTags] => 0 [showTagFilter] => 0 [ocmTagNorm] => 0 [ocmTagNormCase] => lower [ocmTagNormAdditionalReplacements] => [recaptcha_public_key] => marko_margeta [recaptcha_private_key] => zoey2013 [recaptcha_theme] => clean [recaptchaV2] => 1 [recaptchaOnRegistration] => 0 [akismetApiKey] => [stopForumSpam] => 0 [stopForumSpamApiKey] => [showItemsCounterAdmin] => 1 [showChildCatItems] => 1 [disableCompactOrdering] => 0 [metaDescLimit] => 150 [enforceSEFReplacements] => 0 [SEFReplacements] => À|A, Á|A, Â|A, Ã|A, Ä|A, Å|A, à|a, á|a, â|a, ã|a, ä|a, å|a, Ā|A, ā|a, Ă|A, ă|a, Ą|A, ą|a, Ç|C, ç|c, Ć|C, ć|c, Ĉ|C, ĉ|c, Ċ|C, ċ|c, Č|C, č|c, Ð|D, ð|d, Ď|D, ď|d, Đ|D, đ|d, È|E, É|E, Ê|E, Ë|E, è|e, é|e, ê|e, ë|e, Ē|E, ē|e, Ĕ|E, ĕ|e, Ė|E, ė|e, Ę|E, ę|e, Ě|E, ě|e, Ĝ|G, ĝ|g, Ğ|G, ğ|g, Ġ|G, ġ|g, Ģ|G, ģ|g, Ĥ|H, ĥ|h, Ħ|H, ħ|h, Ì|I, Í|I, Î|I, Ï|I, ì|i, í|i, î|i, ï|i, Ĩ|I, ĩ|i, Ī|I, ī|i, Ĭ|I, ĭ|i, Į|I, į|i, İ|I, ı|i, Ĵ|J, ĵ|j, Ķ|K, ķ|k, ĸ|k, Ĺ|L, ĺ|l, Ļ|L, ļ|l, Ľ|L, ľ|l, Ŀ|L, ŀ|l, Ł|L, ł|l, Ñ|N, ñ|n, Ń|N, ń|n, Ņ|N, ņ|n, Ň|N, ň|n, ʼn|n, Ŋ|N, ŋ|n, Ò|O, Ó|O, Ô|O, Õ|O, Ö|O, Ø|O, ò|o, ó|o, ô|o, õ|o, ö|o, ø|o, Ō|O, ō|o, Ŏ|O, ŏ|o, Ő|O, ő|o, Ŕ|R, ŕ|r, Ŗ|R, ŗ|r, Ř|R, ř|r, Ś|S, ś|s, Ŝ|S, ŝ|s, Ş|S, ş|s, Š|S, š|s, ſ|s, Ţ|T, ţ|t, Ť|T, ť|t, Ŧ|T, ŧ|t, Ù|U, Ú|U, Û|U, Ü|U, ù|u, ú|u, û|u, ü|u, Ũ|U, ũ|u, Ū|U, ū|u, Ŭ|U, ŭ|u, Ů|U, ů|u, Ű|U, ű|u, Ų|U, ų|u, Ŵ|W, ŵ|w, Ý|Y, ý|y, ÿ|y, Ŷ|Y, ŷ|y, Ÿ|Y, Ź|Z, ź|z, Ż|Z, ż|z, Ž|Z, ž|z, α|a, β|b, γ|g, δ|d, ε|e, ζ|z, η|h, θ|th, ι|i, κ|k, λ|l, μ|m, ν|n, ξ|x, ο|o, π|p, ρ|r, σ|s, τ|t, υ|y, φ|f, χ|ch, ψ|ps, ω|w, Α|A, Β|B, Γ|G, Δ|D, Ε|E, Ζ|Z, Η|H, Θ|Th, Ι|I, Κ|K, Λ|L, Μ|M, Ξ|X, Ο|O, Π|P, Ρ|R, Σ|S, Τ|T, Υ|Y, Φ|F, Χ|Ch, Ψ|Ps, Ω|W, ά|a, έ|e, ή|h, ί|i, ό|o, ύ|y, ώ|w, Ά|A, Έ|E, Ή|H, Ί|I, Ό|O, Ύ|Y, Ώ|W, ϊ|i, ΐ|i, ϋ|y, ς|s, А|A, Ӑ|A, Ӓ|A, Ә|E, Ӛ|E, Ӕ|E, Б|B, В|V, Г|G, Ґ|G, Ѓ|G, Ғ|G, Ӷ|G, y|Y, Д|D, Е|E, Ѐ|E, Ё|YO, Ӗ|E, Ҽ|E, Ҿ|E, Є|YE, Ж|ZH, Ӂ|DZH, Җ|ZH, Ӝ|DZH, З|Z, Ҙ|Z, Ӟ|DZ, Ӡ|DZ, Ѕ|DZ, И|I, Ѝ|I, Ӥ|I, Ӣ|I, І|I, Ї|JI, Ӏ|I, Й|Y, Ҋ|Y, Ј|J, К|K, Қ|Q, Ҟ|Q, Ҡ|K, Ӄ|Q, Ҝ|K, Л|L, Ӆ|L, Љ|L, М|M, Ӎ|M, Н|N, Ӊ|N, Ң|N, Ӈ|N, Ҥ|N, Њ|N, О|O, Ӧ|O, Ө|O, Ӫ|O, Ҩ|O, П|P, Ҧ|PF, Р|P, Ҏ|P, С|S, Ҫ|S, Т|T, Ҭ|TH, Ћ|T, Ќ|K, У|U, Ў|U, Ӳ|U, Ӱ|U, Ӯ|U, Ү|U, Ұ|U, Ф|F, Х|H, Ҳ|H, Һ|H, Ц|TS, Ҵ|TS, Ч|CH, Ӵ|CH, Ҷ|CH, Ӌ|CH, Ҹ|CH, Џ|DZ, Ш|SH, Щ|SHT, Ъ|A, Ы|Y, Ӹ|Y, Ь|Y, Ҍ|Y, Э|E, Ӭ|E, Ю|YU, Я|YA, а|a, ӑ|a, ӓ|a, ә|e, ӛ|e, ӕ|e, б|b, в|v, г|g, ґ|g, ѓ|g, ғ|g, ӷ|g, y|y, д|d, е|e, ѐ|e, ё|yo, ӗ|e, ҽ|e, ҿ|e, є|ye, ж|zh, ӂ|dzh, җ|zh, ӝ|dzh, з|z, ҙ|z, ӟ|dz, ӡ|dz, ѕ|dz, и|i, ѝ|i, ӥ|i, ӣ|i, і|i, ї|ji, Ӏ|i, й|y, ҋ|y, ј|j, к|k, қ|q, ҟ|q, ҡ|k, ӄ|q, ҝ|k, л|l, ӆ|l, љ|l, м|m, ӎ|m, н|n, ӊ|n, ң|n, ӈ|n, ҥ|n, њ|n, о|o, ӧ|o, ө|o, ӫ|o, ҩ|o, п|p, ҧ|pf, р|p, ҏ|p, с|s, ҫ|s, т|t, ҭ|th, ћ|t, ќ|k, у|u, ў|u, ӳ|u, ӱ|u, ӯ|u, ү|u, ұ|u, ф|f, х|h, ҳ|h, һ|h, ц|ts, ҵ|ts, ч|ch, ӵ|ch, ҷ|ch, ӌ|ch, ҹ|ch, џ|dz, ш|sh, щ|sht, ъ|a, ы|y, ӹ|y, ь|y, ҍ|y, э|e, ӭ|e, ю|yu, я|ya [ocmSef] => 0 [ocmSefLabelCat] => content [ocmSefLabelTag] => tag [ocmSefLabelUser] => author [ocmSefLabelSearch] => search [ocmSefLabelDate] => date [ocmSefLabelItem] => 0 [ocmSefLabelItemCustomPrefix] => [ocmSefInsertItemId] => 1 [ocmSefItemIdTitleAliasSep] => dash [ocmSefUseItemTitleAlias] => 1 [ocmSefInsertCatId] => 1 [ocmSefCatIdTitleAliasSep] => dash [ocmSefUseCatTitleAlias] => 1 [show_page_heading] => 0 [categories] => Array ( [0] => 420 ) [exclude_from_group_by_subcategories] => 0 [menu-anchor_css] => nav__link nav__link--sa-svih-strana [menu_text] => 1 [menu_show] => 1 [page_title] => Sa svih strana [pageclass_sfx] => page--zdravlje-u-fokusu [menu-meta_description] => Donosimo mozaične vijesti i zanimljivosti vezane uz more, kao i kulinarske recepte za morska jela. Za Otvoreno more pišu Tonka Alujević i Edo Šegvić, na pitanja čitatelja odgovara Alen Soldo. Pogledajte i predivne galerije Srđana Vrančića koji snima vrhunske podvodne fotografije, a na njima su najčešće tropske ribe i ostale egzotične morske životinje. [menu-meta_keywords] => Tonka Alujević, Alen Soldo, Edo Šegvić, povijest pomorstva, luksuzna jahta, morski recepti, morsko jelo [secure] => 0 [obituaries_portal] => 0 [page_description] => SiteMeta Description [page_rights] => [robots] => [inheritFrom] => 0 [num_leading_items] => 2 [num_leading_columns] => 1 [leadingImgSize] => Large [num_primary_items] => 4 [num_primary_columns] => 2 [primaryImgSize] => Medium [num_secondary_items] => 4 [num_secondary_columns] => 1 [secondaryImgSize] => Small [num_links] => 4 [num_links_columns] => 1 [linksImgSize] => XSmall [catCatalogMode] => 0 [catFeaturedItems] => 1 [catOrdering] => publishUp [catPagination] => 2 [catPaginationResults] => 1 [catTitle] => 1 [catTitleItemCounter] => 1 [catDescription] => 1 [catImage] => 1 [catFeedLink] => 0 [catFeedIcon] => 0 [subCategories] => 1 [subCatColumns] => 2 [subCatTitle] => 1 [subCatTitleItemCounter] => 1 [subCatDescription] => 1 [subCatImage] => 1 [catItemTitle] => 1 [catItemTitleLinked] => 1 [catItemFeaturedNotice] => 0 [catItemAuthor] => 1 [catItemDateCreated] => 1 [catItemRating] => 0 [catItemImage] => 1 [catItemIntroText] => 1 [catItemExtraFields] => 0 [catItemHits] => 0 [catItemCategory] => 1 [catItemTags] => 1 [catItemAttachments] => 0 [catItemAttachmentsCounter] => 0 [catItemVideo] => 0 [catItemVideoAutoPlay] => 0 [catItemImageGallery] => 0 [catItemDateModified] => 0 [catItemReadMore] => 1 [catItemCommentsAnchor] => 1 [catItemOCMPlugins] => 1 [itemDateCreated] => 1 [itemTitle] => 1 [itemFeaturedNotice] => 1 [itemAuthor] => 1 [itemFontResizer] => 0 [itemPrintButton] => 0 [itemEmailButton] => 1 [itemSocialButton] => 1 [itemVideoAnchor] => 1 [itemImageGalleryAnchor] => 1 [itemCommentsAnchor] => 1 [itemRating] => 0 [itemImage] => 1 [itemImgSize] => Large [itemImageMainCaption] => 1 [itemImageMainCredits] => 1 [itemIntroText] => 0 [itemFullText] => 1 [itemExtraFields] => 1 [itemDateModified] => 1 [itemHits] => 0 [itemCategory] => 0 [itemTags] => 1 [itemAttachments] => 1 [itemAttachmentsCounter] => 1 [itemVideo] => 1 [itemVideoAutoPlay] => 0 [itemVideoCaption] => 1 [itemVideoCredits] => 1 [itemImageGallery] => 0 [itemNavigation] => 0 [itemComments] => 1 [itemTwitterButton] => 1 [itemFacebookButton] => 1 [itemGooglePlusOneButton] => 1 [itemAuthorBlock] => 0 [itemAuthorImage] => 0 [itemAuthorDescription] => 0 [itemAuthorURL] => 0 [itemAuthorEmail] => 0 [itemAuthorLatest] => 0 [itemAuthorLatestLimit] => 5 [itemRelated] => 0 [itemRelatedLimit] => 5 [itemRelatedTitle] => 1 [itemRelatedCategory] => 0 [itemRelatedImageSize] => Medium [itemRelatedIntrotext] => 1 [itemRelatedFulltext] => 0 [itemRelatedAuthor] => 0 [itemRelatedMedia] => 0 [itemRelatedImageGallery] => 0 [itemOCMPlugins] => 1 [recaptcha] => ) [initialized:protected] => 1 [separator] => . ) [metadesc] => [metadata] => robots= author= [metakey] => [plugins] => {"incptvocmimagegalleryIGParameters":"default","incptvocmimagegalleryocmIGposition":"OcmAfterDisplayContent","incptvocmimagegalleryocmIGtheme":"CameraSlideshow","incptvocmimagegalleryImages":["\/images\/slike\/2016\/08\/19\/23414693.jpg"],"incptvocmimagegalleryImageTitles":["Ilustracija\/Shutterstock"],"incptvocmimagegalleryImageDescriptions":[""],"incptvocmimagegalleryImageFocus":["50:50"],"incptvocmimagegalleryImageDimensions":[{"size0":"1920x1280","hd_23414693_1920.jpg":"1920x1080","k_23414693_1280.jpg":"1280x1280","k_23414693_1024.jpg":"1024x1024","k_23414693_640.jpg":"640x640","k_23414693_480.jpg":"480x480","k_23414693_340.jpg":"340x340","k_23414693_220.jpg":"220x220","o_23414693_1280.jpg":"1280x853","o_23414693_1024.jpg":"1024x682","o_23414693_640.jpg":"640x426","o_23414693_480.jpg":"480x320","o_23414693_340.jpg":"340x226","o_23414693_220.jpg":"220x146","h_23414693_1280.jpg":"1280x854","h_23414693_1024.jpg":"1024x683","h_23414693_640.jpg":"640x427","h_23414693_480.jpg":"480x320","h_23414693_340.jpg":"340x227","h_23414693_220.jpg":"220x147","pp_23414693_1280.jpg":"1280x1628","pp_23414693_1024.jpg":"1024x1303","pp_23414693_640.jpg":"640x814","pp_23414693_480.jpg":"480x611","pp_23414693_340.jpg":"340x432","pp_23414693_220.jpg":"220x280"}]} [language] => * [multi_author] => 0 [type_id] => 100 [category] => TableOCMCategory Object ( [id] => 420 [name] => Sa svih strana [alias] => sa-svih-strana [description] => [parent] => 417 [extraFieldsGroup] => 9 [published] => 1 [image] => [access] => 1 [ordering] => 2 [params] => {"inheritFrom":"417","catMetaDesc":"","catMetaKey":"","catMetaRobots":"","catMetaAuthor":"","theme":"","num_leading_items":"2","num_leading_columns":"1","leadingImgSize":"Large","num_primary_items":"4","num_primary_columns":"2","primaryImgSize":"Medium","num_secondary_items":"4","num_secondary_columns":"1","secondaryImgSize":"Small","num_links":"4","num_links_columns":"1","linksImgSize":"XSmall","catCatalogMode":"0","catFeaturedItems":"1","catOrdering":"publishUp","catPagination":"2","catPaginationResults":"1","catTitle":"1","catTitleItemCounter":"1","catDescription":"1","catImage":"1","catFeedLink":"0","catFeedIcon":"0","subCategories":"1","subCatColumns":"2","subCatOrdering":"","subCatTitle":"1","subCatTitleItemCounter":"1","subCatDescription":"1","subCatImage":"1","itemImageXS":"","itemImageS":"","itemImageM":"","itemImageL":"","itemImageXL":"","catItemTitle":"1","catItemTitleLinked":"1","catItemFeaturedNotice":"0","catItemAuthor":"1","catItemDateCreated":"1","catItemRating":"0","catItemImage":"1","catItemIntroText":"1","catItemIntroTextWordLimit":"","catItemExtraFields":"0","catItemHits":"0","catItemCategory":"1","catItemTags":"1","catItemAttachments":"0","catItemAttachmentsCounter":"0","catItemVideo":"0","catItemVideoWidth":"","catItemVideoHeight":"","catItemAudioWidth":"","catItemAudioHeight":"","catItemVideoAutoPlay":"0","catItemImageGallery":"0","catItemImageGalleryWidth":"","catItemImageGalleryHeight":"","catItemDateModified":"0","catItemReadMore":"1","catItemCommentsAnchor":"1","catItemOCMPlugins":"1","itemDateCreated":"1","itemTitle":"1","itemFeaturedNotice":"1","itemAuthor":"1","itemFontResizer":"0","itemPrintButton":"0","itemEmailButton":"1","itemSocialButton":"1","itemVideoAnchor":"1","itemImageGalleryAnchor":"1","itemCommentsAnchor":"1","itemRating":"0","itemImage":"1","itemImgSize":"Large","itemImageMainCaption":"1","itemImageMainCredits":"1","itemIntroText":"0","itemFullText":"1","itemExtraFields":"1","itemDateModified":"1","itemHits":"0","itemCategory":"0","itemTags":"1","itemAttachments":"1","itemAttachmentsCounter":"1","itemVideo":"1","itemVideoWidth":"","itemVideoHeight":"","itemAudioWidth":"","itemAudioHeight":"","itemVideoAutoPlay":"0","itemVideoCaption":"1","itemVideoCredits":"1","itemImageGallery":"0","itemImageGalleryWidth":"","itemImageGalleryHeight":"","itemNavigation":"0","itemComments":"1","itemTwitterButton":"1","itemFacebookButton":"1","itemGooglePlusOneButton":"1","itemAuthorBlock":"0","itemAuthorImage":"0","itemAuthorDescription":"0","itemAuthorURL":"0","itemAuthorEmail":"0","itemAuthorLatest":"0","itemAuthorLatestLimit":"5","itemRelated":"0","itemRelatedLimit":"5","itemRelatedTitle":"1","itemRelatedCategory":"0","itemRelatedImageSize":"Medium","itemRelatedIntrotext":"1","itemRelatedFulltext":"0","itemRelatedAuthor":"0","itemRelatedMedia":"0","itemRelatedImageGallery":"0","itemOCMPlugins":"1"} [trash] => 0 [plugins] => {"customparams_created":"2018-11-16 09:18:21","customparams_modified":"2018-11-16 09:18:21","customparams_videobg":"","customparams_countdown_module":"","customparams_search_template":""} [language] => * [container] => 0 [container_name] => [_tbl:protected] => #__ocm_categories [_tbl_key:protected] => id [_tbl_keys:protected] => Array ( [0] => id ) [_db:protected] => JDatabaseDriverMysqli_Exabyte Object ( [name] => mysqli [serverType] => mysql [connection:protected] => mysqli Object ( [affected_rows] => 0 [client_info] => mysqlnd 5.0.12-dev - 20150407 - $Id: 7cc7cc96e675f6d72e5cf0f267f48e167c2abb23 $ [client_version] => 50012 [connect_errno] => 0 [connect_error] => [errno] => 0 [error] => [error_list] => Array ( ) [field_count] => 18 [host_info] => 127.0.0.1 via TCP/IP [info] => [insert_id] => 0 [server_info] => 5.5.30 [server_version] => 50530 [stat] => Uptime: 15349072 Threads: 4 Questions: 3185042423 Slow queries: 7148536 [sqlstate] => 00000 [protocol_version] => 10 [thread_id] => 235683800 [warning_count] => 0 ) [nameQuote:protected] => ` [nullDate:protected] => 0000-00-00 00:00:00 [_database:JDatabaseDriver:private] => sdproductiondb [count:protected] => 35 [cursor:protected] => [debug:protected] => [limit:protected] => 0 [log:protected] => Array ( ) [timings:protected] => Array ( ) [callStacks:protected] => Array ( ) [offset:protected] => 0 [options:protected] => Array ( [driver] => mysqli_exabyte [host] => 127.0.0.1 [user] => proxy_user_front06 [password] => b3hX5DrKwjx6 [database] => sdproductiondb [prefix] => sk_ [select] => 1 [port] => 6033 [socket] => ) [sql:protected] => JDatabaseQueryMysqli Object ( [offset:protected] => 0 [limit:protected] => 0 [db:protected] => JDatabaseDriverMysqli_Exabyte Object *RECURSION* [sql:protected] => [type:protected] => select [element:protected] => [select:protected] => JDatabaseQueryElement Object ( [name:protected] => SELECT [elements:protected] => Array ( [0] => category.* [1] => IF(ISNULL(container.catid),false,true) AS container [2] => container.name AS container_name [3] => SEFURL_cr.menuItemID AS sefurl_belonging_menu_item ) [glue:protected] => , ) [delete:protected] => [update:protected] => [insert:protected] => [from:protected] => JDatabaseQueryElement Object ( [name:protected] => FROM [elements:protected] => Array ( [0] => `#__ocm_categories` AS `category` ) [glue:protected] => , ) [join:protected] => Array ( [0] => JDatabaseQueryElement Object ( [name:protected] => LEFT JOIN [elements:protected] => Array ( [0] => #__ocm_containers AS container ON category.id = container.catid ) [glue:protected] => , ) [1] => JDatabaseQueryElement Object ( [name:protected] => LEFT JOIN [elements:protected] => Array ( [0] => #__ocm_sefurl_category_menu_relation AS SEFURL_cr ON category.id = SEFURL_cr.categoryID ) [glue:protected] => , ) ) [set:protected] => [where:protected] => JDatabaseQueryElement Object ( [name:protected] => WHERE [elements:protected] => Array ( [0] => `category`.`id` = '0' ) [glue:protected] => AND ) [group:protected] => [having:protected] => [columns:protected] => [values:protected] => [order:protected] => [autoIncrementField:protected] => [call:protected] => [exec:protected] => [union:protected] => [unionAll:protected] => [selectRowNumber:protected] => ) [tablePrefix:protected] => sk_ [utf:protected] => 1 [utf8mb4:protected] => 1 [errorNum:protected] => 0 [errorMsg:protected] => [transactionDepth:protected] => 0 [disconnectHandlers:protected] => Array ( ) [ocmConfig] => Array ( ) ) [_trackAssets:protected] => [_rules:protected] => [_locked:protected] => [_autoincrement:protected] => 1 [_observers:protected] => JObserverUpdater Object ( [aliases:protected] => Array ( ) [observers:protected] => Array ( ) [doCallObservers:protected] => 1 ) [_columnAlias:protected] => Array ( ) [_jsonEncode:protected] => Array ( ) [_errors:protected] => Array ( ) [year_lookup] => 0 [link] => /om/sa-svih-strana ) [additional_categories] => Array ( [0] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 420 [name] => Sa svih strana [alias] => sa-svih-strana [parent] => 417 [published] => 1 [trash] => 0 [link] => /om/sa-svih-strana ) ) [link] => /om/sa-svih-strana/kako-ga-je-to-lignja-popjuvala-zar-samo-sipe-nimadu-crnilo-1225071 [printLink] => /om/sa-svih-strana/kako-ga-je-to-lignja-popjuvala-zar-samo-sipe-nimadu-crnilo-1225071?tmpl=component&print=1 [tags] => Array ( [0] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 687634 [name] => Jadran Šangarelo Šantić [published] => 1 [section] => [subsection] => [weight] => [created] => 2022-08-13 08:18:16 [main_article_id] => 0 [alias] => jadran-sangarelo-santic [link] => /tag/jadran-sangarelo-santic ) [1] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 638225 [name] => priče čitatelja [published] => 1 [section] => [subsection] => [weight] => [created] => 2021-05-09 13:36:27 [main_article_id] => 0 [alias] => price-citatelja [link] => /tag/price-citatelja ) [2] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 652607 [name] => priče čitatelja otvoreno more [published] => 1 [section] => [subsection] => [weight] => [created] => 2021-10-12 09:43:43 [main_article_id] => 0 [alias] => price-citatelja-otvoreno-more [link] => /tag/price-citatelja-otvoreno-more ) ) [imageXSmall] => [imageSmall] => [imageMedium] => [imageLarge] => [imageXLarge] => [extraFields] => stdClass Object ( [SuperscriptTitle] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 2 [name] => Superscript Title [value] => priče čitatelja [type] => textarea [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 2 [alias] => SuperscriptTitle ) [contains_infographic] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 61 [name] => Contains Infographic [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 4 [alias] => contains_infographic ) [Withoutads] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 62 [name] => Without ads [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 5 [alias] => Withoutads ) [Photo_gallery] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 63 [name] => Photo gallery [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 6 [alias] => Photo_gallery ) [promo] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 64 [name] => Promo [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 7 [alias] => promo ) [contains_video] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 67 [name] => Contains video [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 9 [alias] => contains_video ) [premium_content] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 68 [name] => Premium content [value] => ON [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 10 [alias] => premium_content ) [exclude_comments] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 69 [name] => Exclude comments [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 11 [alias] => exclude_comments ) [open_link_in_new_window] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 70 [name] => Open link in new window [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 12 [alias] => open_link_in_new_window ) [horizontal_crop_of_the_main_photo] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 71 [name] => Horizontal crop of the main photo [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 13 [alias] => horizontal_crop_of_the_main_photo ) [no_index] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 73 [name] => No-index [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 15 [alias] => no_index ) [no_cache] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 74 [name] => No-cache [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 16 [alias] => no_cache ) [dont_show_on_the_front_page] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 77 [name] => Don't show on the front page [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 17 [alias] => dont_show_on_the_front_page ) [related_on_bottom] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 78 [name] => Related on bottom [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 18 [alias] => related_on_bottom ) [live_button] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 79 [name] => Live button [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 19 [alias] => live_button ) [instant_articles] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 87 [name] => Instant articles [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 28 [alias] => instant_articles ) [s_preporucuje] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 91 [name] => S preporučuje [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 29 [alias] => s_preporucuje ) [s_voli] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 92 [name] => S voli [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 30 [alias] => s_voli ) [layout_with_three_photos] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 93 [name] => Layout with three photos [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 31 [alias] => layout_with_three_photos ) [gallery_in_the_article] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 94 [name] => Gallery in the article [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 32 [alias] => gallery_in_the_article ) [required_views] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 95 [name] => Required views [value] => 0 [type] => textfield [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 33 [alias] => required_views ) [fullhd_image] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 96 [name] => FullHD image [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 34 [alias] => fullhd_image ) [paid_article] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 98 [name] => Paid Article [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 36 [alias] => paid_article ) ) [attachments] => Array ( ) [cleanTitle] => Kako ga je to lignja popjuvala, zar samo sipe nimadu crnilo? Svašta jema u naše malo misto samo uvik triba stat atento i u fermu [num_of_authors] => 0 [author] => Joomla\CMS\User\User Object ( [isRoot:protected] => [id] => 3260 [name] => Željko Simunić [username] => zeljko.simunic [email] => zeljko.simunic@slobodnadalmacija.hr [password] => $2y$10$2dTHC6E6JKxXZQhLPHc1duOpzkg2uCgPXZWnHVdyQDw9ueBy.ppmW [password_clear] => [block] => 0 [sendEmail] => 0 [registerDate] => 0000-00-00 00:00:00 [lastvisitDate] => 0000-00-00 00:00:00 [activation] => [params] => {"admin_style":"","admin_language":"","language":"","editor":"","timezone":""} [groups] => Array ( [3] => 3 ) [guest] => 0 [lastResetTime] => 0000-00-00 00:00:00 [resetCount] => 0 [requireReset] => 0 [_params:protected] => Joomla\Registry\Registry Object ( [data:protected] => stdClass Object ( [admin_style] => [admin_language] => [language] => [editor] => [timezone] => ) [initialized:protected] => 1 [separator] => . ) [_authGroups:protected] => [_authLevels:protected] => [_authActions:protected] => [_errorMsg:protected] => [userHelper:protected] => Joomla\CMS\User\UserWrapper Object ( ) [_errors:protected] => Array ( ) [otpKey] => [otep] => [link] => /autor/zeljko-simunic-3260 [profile] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 1774 [gender] => m [description] => [image] => [url] => [group] => 0 [plugins] => {"customparams_author_school":"","customparams_author_title":"","customparams_author_title_categoryid":"28","customparams_fb_link":"","customparams_tw_link":""} ) [avatar] => https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/56939905c2f0af4a521e539bff3e8bbf?s=100&default=https%3A%2F%2Ff05.slobodnadalmacija.hr%2Fcomponents%2Fcom_ocm%2Fimages%2Fplaceholder%2Fuser.png ) [numOfComments] => 0 [mainImage] => https://static.slobodnadalmacija.hr/images/slike/2016/08/19/23414693.jpg [galleryCount] => 1 [hasImage] => 1 [mainImageAuthor] => Ilustracija/Shutterstock [mainImageDesc] => [popup_gallery] => Array ( [0] => stdClass Object ( [src] => https://static.slobodnadalmacija.hr/images/slike/2016/08/19/23414693.jpg [title] => Ilustracija/Shutterstock ) ) [bgPosition] => [videoType] => allvideos [text] => {OCMSplitter}

Ka i svako jutro oko 5 uri san sa terace bacija pogled na more, za vidit more li se odit na ribe joli ne. Puvalo je i ni bilo vrime za na ribe. Vrati san se u posteju, ma ni za dugo i oko 7 san jopet iša vižitat stanje na moru.

S terace san međutin vidija moga prijateja Franu kako sa svojon crnon gajeton na jarbol bordiža iz Brista i uplovljava u naš porat za popit kafu. Kako je u portu lipo žalo, svaki put se Frane sa svojon gajeton mora nasukat, jerbo nima nigdi blizu njega kolone za vezat brod.

Ja san seja u auto i otiša sa društvon u kojemu su: dotur Olivari, Frane, Vedran Stipić, Velo od pokojnega Mačka, zet i ja popit kafu.

Naravno, uz normalne zajebancije i tirade razni zajebancij. Sidimo mi i Vedran kazije kako je bi sinoć na lignje i kako ga je lignja popjuvala crnilon po biloj maji. I sa ton je majon iša do Frane, koji ga je pita ča mu je to na maji po prsiman.

Zaletija se do žala

Kad je čuja o čemu se radi, osta je ka inkantan i komentira da kako ga je to lignja popjuvala crnilon, zar samo sipe nimadu crnilo?

Skoro je napa Vedrana da ga zajebaje. Izgleda da Franino neznanje nima granic i da ćemo mi još puno puti čut komentare na koje se moš samo smijat i njega zajebavat. I tako se uz smij i zajebanciju Frane ošerva prema brodu i vidija da se lipo otisnija od žala i nošen vitron polako bordižava u duboko.

Odma je reagira, zaletija se do žala i onako u priši u svoj robi zagazija do vrata da bi uvati brod, jerbo se bi pripa da će mu ga vitar odnit na neki tuđi brod i učinit šćetu. Kad je vrati brod na žalo, kaže mu Vedran: uvik san ti reka, nasukaj se sa većin gason i unda nimaš straja.

Asti Gospu, a di mi je mobitel - izneredi se Frane. Je li se i on namočija?

Pribire Frane žepe, ma je mobitel osta suv na stolu o kafića. A ča se šoldi tiče, oni su se skvasili ma lako ji je osušit pa nima šćete. Poza tin je uša u gajetu i nako mokar partija za Brist doma kontra vitra. Ma isto me malo straj da se ne razboli jerbo ni u cvitu mladosti. Jema u guzici 70 godin, pa ga more i puntura zateć.

Sad valja njušit

Vedran i ja smo se vratili u kafić i unda je iskrsla još jedna batuda na Vedranov konto. Prošlu šetemanu je Vedran odija sa famejon i prijatejima na đitu sa svojin brodon. Kako su planirali bit na more 4-5 dan, tribalo je spremit i provištu za koju je bila zadužena Vedranova žena.

Na kraju je zaudobila stavit kumpire i tek je na Vedranovo ronjanje stavila par kili u brod.

Đita je završila, lipo su se vratili doma i gle vraga kumpiri se nisu izili. Ali, kad su iskrcavali stvari, nigdi ni bilo kumpiri. Vedran se kune da je svaki kantun u brodu vižita i da o kumpiri nima ni traga ni glasa.

Jutros kad smo čuli, lipo smo Vedranu priporučili da kad je sve vižita i ni naša kumpire, neka sada svaki dan dobro njuši kad uliza u brod i kad se kumpiri dobro usmrdu, unda će ji lako po smradu nać. I dok smo o temu raspravjali dojde za naš stol Stipe mesar, vlaj o Drniša jako simpa čovik, ma Gospe mi, na prsiman i drobu jema puste masne mače.

Librić ka poklon

I dok je on odgovara na naše zajebancije, mi smo utvrdili da mu je pečena janjetina draga. Sigurno ju je sika na drobu dok je ija jerbo su mu slabi zubi za drobit košćice...

Prin vengo smo se rastavili, Vedran i ja smo odlučili napravit jedan librić sa skraćenin tekstovima i poklonit ga Frani za učenje onega ča je najvažnije za na more i okolo mora. Eto štioci dragi, svašta jema u naše malo misto samo uvik triba stat atento i u fermu za uvatit prave štorije i barufe.

Živi i veseli bili, pozdravja vas vaš morski čovik Šangarelo.

[jcfields] => Array ( ) [event] => stdClass Object ( [BeforeDisplay] => [AfterDisplay] => [AfterDisplayTitle] => [BeforeDisplayContent] => [AfterDisplayContent] => [OCMBeforeDisplay] => [OCMAfterDisplay] => [OCMAfterDisplayTitle] => [OCMBeforeDisplayContent] => [OCMAfterDisplayContent] =>
Ilustracija/Shutterstock
[OCMUserDisplay] => [OCMCommentsCounter] => [OCMCommentsBlock] => ) [image] => [imageWidth] => 600 [comments] => Array ( ) [absoluteURL] => https://slobodnadalmacija.hr/om/sa-svih-strana/kako-ga-je-to-lignja-popjuvala-zar-samo-sipe-nimadu-crnilo-1225071 [emailLink] => /component/mailto/?tmpl=component&template=site&link=04a61ad30609636e8460173d4ed516698a6f83ad [twitterURL] => http://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=Kako+ga+je+to+lignja+popjuvala%2C+zar+samo+sipe+nimadu+crnilo%3F+Sva%C5%A1ta+jema+u+na%C5%A1e+malo+misto+samo+uvik+triba+stat+atento+i+u+fermu&url=https%3A%2F%2Fslobodnadalmacija.hr%2Fom%2Fsa-svih-strana%2Fkako-ga-je-to-lignja-popjuvala-zar-samo-sipe-nimadu-crnilo-1225071 [socialLink] => https%3A%2F%2Fslobodnadalmacija.hr%2Fom%2Fsa-svih-strana%2Fkako-ga-je-to-lignja-popjuvala-zar-samo-sipe-nimadu-crnilo-1225071 )
Array ( [1] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 2 [name] => Superscript Title [value] => priče čitatelja [type] => textarea [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 2 [alias] => SuperscriptTitle ) [3] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 61 [name] => Contains Infographic [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 4 [alias] => contains_infographic ) [4] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 62 [name] => Without ads [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 5 [alias] => Withoutads ) [5] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 63 [name] => Photo gallery [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 6 [alias] => Photo_gallery ) [6] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 64 [name] => Promo [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 7 [alias] => promo ) [8] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 67 [name] => Contains video [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 9 [alias] => contains_video ) [9] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 68 [name] => Premium content [value] => ON [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 10 [alias] => premium_content ) [10] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 69 [name] => Exclude comments [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 11 [alias] => exclude_comments ) [11] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 70 [name] => Open link in new window [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 12 [alias] => open_link_in_new_window ) [12] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 71 [name] => Horizontal crop of the main photo [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 13 [alias] => horizontal_crop_of_the_main_photo ) [13] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 73 [name] => No-index [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 15 [alias] => no_index ) [14] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 74 [name] => No-cache [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 16 [alias] => no_cache ) [15] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 77 [name] => Don't show on the front page [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 17 [alias] => dont_show_on_the_front_page ) [16] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 78 [name] => Related on bottom [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 18 [alias] => related_on_bottom ) [17] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 79 [name] => Live button [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 19 [alias] => live_button ) [26] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 87 [name] => Instant articles [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 28 [alias] => instant_articles ) [27] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 91 [name] => S preporučuje [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 29 [alias] => s_preporucuje ) [28] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 92 [name] => S voli [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 30 [alias] => s_voli ) [29] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 93 [name] => Layout with three photos [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 31 [alias] => layout_with_three_photos ) [30] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 94 [name] => Gallery in the article [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 32 [alias] => gallery_in_the_article ) [31] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 95 [name] => Required views [value] => 0 [type] => textfield [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 33 [alias] => required_views ) [32] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 96 [name] => FullHD image [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 34 [alias] => fullhd_image ) [33] => stdClass Object ( [id] => 98 [name] => Paid Article [value] => OFF [type] => radio [group] => 9 [published] => 1 [ordering] => 36 [alias] => paid_article ) )
StoryEditorOCM
Sa svih strana

priče čitateljaKako ga je to lignja popjuvala, zar samo sipe nimadu crnilo? Svašta jema u naše malo misto samo uvik triba stat atento i u fermu

Piše Jadran Šangarelo Šantić
17. rujna 2022. - 08:08
23414693
Ilustracija/Shutterstock

Ka i svako jutro oko 5 uri san sa terace bacija pogled na more, za vidit more li se odit na ribe joli ne. Puvalo je i ni bilo vrime za na ribe. Vrati san se u posteju, ma ni za dugo i oko 7 san jopet iša vižitat stanje na moru.

S terace san međutin vidija moga prijateja Franu kako sa svojon crnon gajeton na jarbol bordiža iz Brista i uplovljava u naš porat za popit kafu. Kako je u portu lipo žalo, svaki put se Frane sa svojon gajeton mora nasukat, jerbo nima nigdi blizu njega kolone za vezat brod.

Ja san seja u auto i otiša sa društvon u kojemu su: dotur Olivari, Frane, Vedran Stipić, Velo od pokojnega Mačka, zet i ja popit kafu.

Naravno, uz normalne zajebancije i tirade razni zajebancij. Sidimo mi i Vedran kazije kako je bi sinoć na lignje i kako ga je lignja popjuvala crnilon...

#JADRAN ŠANGARELO ŠANTIĆ#PRIČE ČITATELJA#PRIČE ČITATELJA OTVORENO MORE
17. svibanj 2024 02:48